Before His Experience

Darren is a Vice President who has risen to his current position by getting things done. He is and always has been measured by his ability to meet stated objectives. He measures others the same way.

While society would judge Darren as successful he is frustrated with his inability to more consistently achieve the results he and others desire. He sees the same frustration in those he measures. Is the manner in which he and others measure his success negatively impacting the fulfillment of his potential, i.e., his ability to truly be successful? If so, is his measurement of others doing the same to them?

Darren enjoys being a leader. As anyone who does, success is a combination of what Darren is able to do by himself and what he is able to do with others. While successes outnumber failures he is frustrated with his inability to always do what he would like to. At times his limitations are his own. He will have the authority and the resources, but for a variety of reasons remains unable to achieve a desired outcome. One of those reasons centers on people being reluctant to step forward. While a trait of the engineers he works with, this reluctance remains frustrating to Darren.

Given his task-centered focus fulfillment in life is measured one objective at a time. Life, as it is for many people who define success in such a manner, is filled with ups and downs. Fortunately there are more ups than downs. Unfortunately there are too many downs to create a sense of balance and fulfillment in life.

Darren has a lot of questions with few answers. "How do I get people to engage more? Why aren't we more successful? How do I get more control over results? How can I be a better manager? How can we work more effectively and efficiently?" are just a few.

As a leader he also has more global questions to answer. These include:

• How can we improve the value of the product to our current customers?
• How do we ensure that our customers are taking advantage of the product they already have?
• How do we enable our customers to become champions in their respective organizations?

During His Experience

Examining the context of the questions above Darren's first session begins with an eye-opener; his leadership style, to include associated language, is not (truly) focused on the individuals he is supposedly 'leading.'

To see this Darren is asked to identify the pronouns in his questions, especially the questions that involve others. He is then asked who the pronouns are focused on, more specifically, whether or not they speak directly to others.

He is asked to consider (through past verbal conversations) and examine (through past email communication) how often the pronouns I, we, us, our, me, and mine are used. From this he sees how seldom 'you' and 'your' find their way into his verbal and written communication. He is asked to consider and examine how often his language focuses on the objective before or even over the individual. He is asked to consider and examine how often his language is focused on him versus those he is communicating with. Finally, he is asked to consider and examine how often he tells others what to do versus asking them what they would do.

Darren learns the impact his language is having on enabling the fulfillment of his potential and of those around him. As an example, when he asked "How do we do that without disrupting the application?" a golden opportunity was missed that would have allowed the individuals before him to take ownership of the solution. Ownership in this context opens the door for responsibility and accountability. This opens the door to self-confidence and the ultimate fulfillment of the individual's potential.

Darren also learns that the changes necessary in his language to achieve higher levels of success are subtle. "How do we do that without disrupting the application?" becomes "How would you do that without disrupting the application?" While a minor change in content, the change in context is not lost on the inner self. Darren knows this from past Experience. He has always felt a greater level of respect, appreciation and understanding from those who focused on his thoughts. It was often these same individuals that gave him credit versus taking it for themselves. In other words, he was not only motivated by who an individual was being in the moment, but also the perception of who the individual would be at some point in the future.

To ensure that he is creating this same motivation in others Darren speaks with (versus at) the individual. Instead of giving answers he asks for them. Instead of presenting business results and strategy during an all-hands meeting he asks questions of results and strategy in the meeting. Instead of explaining (through statements) why others are wrong he now seeks to understand (through questions) where others are coming from. Instead of structuring a marketing slick in this order...

1. Product features
2. Industry challenges and studies (communicated primarily through statements)
3. His company's solution

It is structured in this order...

1. The customer's challenges to include relation to industry studies (as expressed through questions)
2. The customer's opportunity as expressed through how product features overcome client challenges

All of this reminds Darren as to how subtle human nature is; how one word, a sentence or paragraph can change motivation to demotivation, agreement to disagreement, a closed deal to a lost deal, and confidence to a lack of; how positive an individual can feel walking into a meeting/conversation and how negative one can feel walking out (or vice versa).

Darren also awakens to the scope and resulting impact of his language in all areas of life. As he begins changing the focus and resulting context of his language he improves the relationship with his wife, young daughter, subordinates, peers, supervisors, prospects, customers, and his self. He becomes more effective and efficient. He is simply getting more done in less time.

He does all of this through the same lesson. As an executive and leader this excites Darren: the idea that every discipline within the organization (customer service, operations, sales, marketing, etc.) can fulfill their potential through a common understanding that includes a common language; one that not only applies to every discipline within the organization, but to every part of an individual's life.

The value of this one lesson to Darren? After just 6 sessions he states:

• I am engaging people on a more personal level
• I see people working together as a cohesive team versus a collection of dissimilar groups and/or individuals
• I am seeing a considerable reduction in email
• People are opening up to me more
• I am getting responses quicker than before
• I have seen a significant improvement in the relationship with my daughter
• I am working out consistently again
• I am more effective and efficient
• I feel like I have time to move ahead

While each item means a lot to Darren and those he comes in contact with the last one is of particular importance for two reasons. Firstly, it positively impacts all of the others as it provides Darren with not only more time, but the contagious optimism that comes with the sense of accomplishment and choice, i.e., freedom, the item brings. Secondly, of all the changes Darren has made this one seemed to be the most unreachable. Like many people Darren seemed to always be in 'catch up' mode; always having more things to do than there was time to do them. He had great ideas. He was excited about the possibility of each. But when would he ever find the time to bring them to life?

After His Experience

In Darren's words;

"One of the fundamental changes has been a shift in focus from the objective to the individual. To make this change I had to understand what makes people tick on the inside to enable the fulfillment of their potential on the outside. Instead of telling people what to do they are now encouraged to share their ideas in not only what to do, but how, specifically, to do it. People come back excited, putting forth creative ideas that I would have never thought of. They are taking ownership for processes they develop. This is much more fulfilling for the individual and the company as a whole. The shift in focus on the individual allowed me to rethink the value of what we bring to the customer. This allowed me to organize the business to enable and enhance this value. How this value is presented to prospects and customers changed as well as I have learned how to present the company from the customer's perspective. In the end the program has allowed me to take on a new role of being a leader to others."

Given his leadership position there are a number of individuals that work for and with Darren that have gone through the program. His thoughts on these individuals include:

"People that go through the program are becoming more aware of the value their coworkers and customers bring to solving problems, taking advantage of opportunity and otherwise achieving greater results. I see a significant difference in these individuals as they have become more open to who they and others can be and what they and others can do (collectively) as a result."

When asked what he would like senior management to know about his Experience Darren states;

"The program teaches people how to be a manager; how to empower others to be who they can be as a result of who the manager becomes. In doing so it provides significant benefits to individuals who want to progress in their career and are willing to change to do so."

When asked what he would like others to know about his Experience Darren states;

"It helps you become much more aware of your self and the challenges before you. At the same time it empowers your self and those around you to greater levels of success."

When asked to measure, on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, how well he was honoring the company's core values prior to his Experience he states, '6.' When asked to measure where this stands today he responds, 'a 9.' As Darren states, "My desire to support the company's core values has always been a '10.' The difference between now and then is the clarity I have in how to best achieve this."

Darren now sees that the manner in which he was being measured and the manner in which he was measuring others, limits the fulfillment of one's potential. While it has always been known that it takes people to achieve objectives, Darren sees how misunderstood this so-called 'understanding' is. Darren has always known that business makes money. He has always known that people make business. He now knows what makes people, including his self.