Before Her Experience

On the outside Christine is successful. She is a Vice President. She is under 40. She has a great husband and kids. They own a European luxury car and a fully-loaded SUV. They spend weekends in the summer on their boat. Christine works hard and has a lot to show for it. She has been with her current employer for more than 7 years and earlier in the month was asked to participate in the company's leadership development program. Senior executives in the company view Christine as someone with great potential.

On the inside a different story is unfolding. Christine sleeps 2-4 hours a night; spending most nights thinking about (1) what didn't get done that day, (2) what needs to be done tomorrow and/or (3) what is coming up the following week. She works 12-16 hours a day, leaving little time for other things in her life. She believes that she is doing things the right way for a number of reasons. Firstly, everyone seems to be doing it this way; sacrificing family, physical and emotional wellness in their quest for success. At the same time she knows that there must be a better way. Her life is, in her words, "Chaotic and unorganized."

During Her Experience

As her first session begins Christine is asked to identify what she wants more and less of in life. Her response is below.

More

1. To motivate my staff to want to do things
2. To be the individual in-person that I am on the phone
3. Improve time management to include better prioritization
4. Improve focus
5. To relax
6. Practice what I preach
7. To learn what I don't yet know
8. Personal and professional success

Less

1. Stress
2. Staying plugged in to work
3. Selling myself short
4. Frustration

Christine begins her first session by wanting to focus on her then current inability to relax as she would like, the frustration she often feels and the current stress in her job. As Christine states, "I tend to carry stress and frustration from one day to the next; where days are often bridged together through evenings filled with thoughts of what I need to do the following day. This carries into the weekend where I find it difficult to feel relaxed until some point Sunday afternoon or even evening. By that time I have already brought Monday into the equation, making any sense of relaxation short-lived."

Christine spends her days focused on the 'doing.' This includes what she and/or others have done, what she and/or others are doing and what she and/or others need to do. The problem with this is that as a human being the 'being' must come first. A decision is made on the inside to be someone and then action is taken on the outside that reflects this decision. By focusing on the doing, i.e., what is happening on the outside, Christine essentially ignores her self. It isn't that she doesn't want or try to be disciplined, respectful, focused, compassionate, etc., it is that she doesn't know, from within, what it means to be it.

To understand what Christine does know she is asked to describe what she does for a living. Without hesitation she talks about how she manages a business unit for her company to include numerous points that describe how she performs her job. Christine is next asked to describe what she has as a result of what she does. Without hesitation she begins her answer with "Stress" and then continues with "A challenging and rewarding job with a major player in the telecommunications industry."

She is then asked to describe who she is. Silence. A minute ago she was quick to respond. Not a hint of hesitation. Judging from Christine's demeanor you wouldn't suspect that she hesitates in much that she has to say. But here, with this question, she sits silent.  With one question Christine has the answer to all of the questions surrounding her list above and the numerous other things she wants more and less of in life. Simply put, she doesn't know who she is, in many ways, who she has become. Without this basic understanding how can she know who she needs to be to fulfill her potential, both personally and professionally?

Over her remaining sessions Christine identifies and defines who she needs to be to fulfill her potential in every area of her life. She learns what language motivates her self and others to be all that they can be. She realizes that the content of her language in meetings, during sales presentations, through email and other forms of verbal and written communication (to include how she communicates with her family) is creating a context that works against her. She comes to understand how and why her language is often times focused on her versus the person(s) before her; a context that Christine is completely unaware of.

With Christine's shift in focus from doing things to being someone her results change immediately. Her work hours drop from 12-16 hours a day to 10-12. Time becomes an ally versus an adversary. As Christine states, "While I am working less hours my work level is greater than ever. My team is more open with me. They come to me with issues earlier than they did before, allowing us to be proactive in resolving problems and taking advantage of opportunity. I am motivating prospects and clients to move further along with their relationship with the company than I ever did before. On top of all of this my stress level has dropped tremendously!"

This is just a sample of the results Christine achieves in her professional life during her Experience. She was recently given credit for closing a deal with a prospect following a presentation that she and others were involved in; a deal she credits to her focus on being. The contract is worth $156,000.00 a year and $468,000.00 over the initial 3yr contract term. Christine estimates the contract to be worth 4x the value of contracts for similar services.

Her presentations in general have become more interactive. As Christine states, "I have gone from delivering a monologue to engaging in dialogue."  Her prospect-to-client conversion ratio has increased 30 percentage points. Christine feels that her overall productivity has increased 50% (while her work hours have dropped 20-25%!).

What about home? Through the reduction in work hours and a renewed focus on being Christine is spending more time at home; quality time. She and her husband now enjoy a 'date night' every Wednesday. They take ballroom dancing lessons together on Monday nights. Her 13yr old daughter has taken notice. She recently commented on how much time mum and dad have been spending together over the past few months.

To sum up her Experience Christine says, "The impact on my self and the people around me is profound. I am more relaxed, respectful and confident. I am more successful, both inside and out."

After Her Experience

When asked to look back on her sessions Christine realizes how much greater her expectations and associated results have become. As an example, with hindsight the fulfillment of her potential at work dropped from an '8' to a '5' (with 10 being the highest level). She thought she was doing things the right way. She now knows how misguided her thoughts were. To be fair to Christine, given how successful she appeared on the outside no one would question the 8 she originally gave to this area of her life.

Christine measures the impact her Experience is having on stress and work/life balance. Stress has dropped from an '8' to a '4' (with 10 reflecting the highest level of stress). Work/life balance has increased from a '3' to a '9' (with 10 reflecting complete work/life balance).

Why did Christine change? "I had tried it (life) one way for more than 30 years and I needed to change.  Prior to my Experience I simply did not know how to."

When asked what she would like her management team to know about her Experience Christine states;

"The benefits of the program are not just work related. They apply to every aspect of life."

In her last session Christine wrapped up her Experience best when she said, "If I can make a six-fold improvement in 6 months, imagine where I will be one or two years from now."